It’s football season, baby, and with that comes NFL Fantasy Football. Stephen and I debate heavily about an array of topics through out our work day, over lunch and, as of recently, while battling it out in Catan. But we both agree football is an American pastime and realize Fantasy Football has the same addictive qualities as crack cocaine. This Friendly Feature is going to try to convince all the nagging girlfriends of why their boyfriends are so enthralled with Fantasy. Here is why it’s so popular:
Gamification – Fantasy is this world’s most prolific embodiment of gamification. What intrigues a bunch of dudes more than arguing about sports with their best friends over a 16-week period of time? Nothing. Boobs, maybe. But nothing else. Competition, comparable to the glory days of high school sports, is hard to come by in our stage of life. Fantasy gives the boys something to compete over week-after-week and leaves us thinking: “Maybe, just maybe, if I would have applied myself more in PeeWee Hockey I could have been the Todd Gurley II of the NHL.” (I’m from Minnesota, btw.)
Offense – For those who are not familiar with Fantasy Football framework, offensive players are the only individual contributors. Deep throws, long runs and finger tip catches accumulate to major point totals for our fantasy teams. Fantasy takes the most exciting plays of football, enumerates them and displays them on a scoreboard for dudes to drool over all day Sunday. To my girlfriend, I apologize but Sundays are a day I will be very bad at promptly texting back.
The Draft / Team Management – Firstly I want to say, we realize that these athletes that we draft on to our fantasy teams are so above our level in life, it’s absurd. But we receive an unearned degree of importance when we put a spreadsheet together of our draft picks and declare: ‘these players are good enough to be on my fantasy team.’ It’s bonkers, I know, but so incredibly fun. And then throughout the season we drop and trade players that aren’t performing to our standard. We praise ourselves for having the vision to draft players that have potential for breakout seasons. And throw jabs at our best friends for forgetting to adjust their lineups for upcoming bye weeks. For 16-weeks we get to play God. Whoever created Fantasy Football is an undeniable genius.
To wrap up, I wanted to include my starting roster for Week 1. I’m welcome to all praise and criticisms. Greg, bring it.
QB1: Tom Brady, NE Patriots.
RB1: Todd Gurley II, LA Rams.
RB2: Joe Mixon, CIN Bengals.
WR1: Michael Thomas, NO Saints.
WR2: Chris Hogan, NE Patriots.
TE: Greg Olson, CAR Panthers.
FLEX: Carlos Hyde, CLE Browns.
DEFENSE: Ravens, BAL.
K: Graham Gano, CAR Panthers.
Owner of ‘Gurls want it all’